


No One Ever Accused Steve Rogers of Being Subtle

by psychoroach



Series: The Subtle Series [1]
Category: The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Apples, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Pre-Relationship, Pumpkins, corn maze
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-03 05:12:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16319786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychoroach/pseuds/psychoroach
Summary: Steve Rogers offers to take care of the Barton kids for the day, but what's his ulterior motive?





	No One Ever Accused Steve Rogers of Being Subtle

**Author's Note:**

> I have to admit, this pairing is one of my guilty pleasures. There's a huge lack of fic for it, so I thought I'd try my hand at it. Inspired by the recent Twitter exchange between Piers Morgan and Chris Evans. To be quite honest, I enjoyed writing this and I wouldn't mind coming back to these three sometime, maybe even a continuation of this. But for now, this is all there is, there isn't anymore.

Steve Rogers wasn't a stranger at the Barton farm. Ever since Clint had taken the Avengers there during the whole Ultron fiasco, most of them had an open invitation to come anytime they wanted. That invitation extended to Steve, who liked to get out of New York sometimes and ride to Iowa on his motorcycle, going through Pennsylvania, Ohio, Indiana and Illinois along the way. Laura loved having Steve around, if only because it meant she could do other things she needed to do while he helped Clint with things around the farm. It wasn't an unusual sight to see Steve outside chopping wood to store up for winter, or Clint teaching him how to use the hay baler so they could get bales up to feed the cows. It was all fairly domestic, and Laura felt a little bit of something inside her anytime she saw the city boy doing something so 'country'. She wondered to herself if he wasn't misplaced in more ways than one and should've been born somewhere outside of Brooklyn. 

So Steve Rogers wasn't a stranger to the farm, and when he showed up late one Tuesday, just after lunch, it wasn't anything strange. Laura let him in and he took his bag up to the room he used while he was there and he walked out of the house to let her get Cooper and Lila started on their afternoon studies without 'uncle Steve' around distracting them. 

He stayed through the next few days, and that Saturday, just after breakfast, he looked at Clint and Laura curiously. "So I have a proposition for you." 

"Oh yeah, what's that?" Laura asked, eyeing him as she drank her second cup of coffee while Clint walked around the room, carrying around the now 9 month old Nathaniel, who was a little bit fussy with a funny tummy after not burping after his morning bottle. 

"How about I take the kids out for the day." Steve offered sincerely.

"Yes." Clint said immediately, glancing over at him as Nathaniel gummed at one of his fingers in lieu of a teething ring. Laura turned and shot him a light look and Clint padded out of the room, grabbing a teething ring out of the freezer and handing it to the baby, who promptly spit it out and grabbed his finger again. Clint shrugged at Laura in a 'what can you do' sort of way.

"What exactly are you going to do with them?" Laura asked, eyeing Steve. 

"I was thinking Adventureland." Steve shrugged.

"Dumbass." Clint muttered under his breath. When Laura frowned at him he shrugged. "What? Taking three children to a water park alone is a rookie move. Even Nat wouldn't be dumb enough to do that." 

Steve laughed. "Clint they're eleven and six, and that one isn't even old enough to cause much trouble yet. How hard could it be?" 

Laura took pity on Steve. "Why don't you take them to the Center Grove Orchard instead." She suggested. "You can drop Lila off at the Mad Hatter's Tea Party, she'll be enthralled for a while and you can take Cooper through the corn maze." 

"Plus if Lila gets bored, she can go over to the petting zoo." Clint pointed out. "She can spend hours there sometimes." 

Steve took out his phone and looked it up. "Oh I like the look of this place." He smiled. "Looks like something I would've done as a kid." 

"If you want to take them to pick some apples and pumpkins, we can make jack-o-lanterns and Laura can make a couple pies." Clint replied.

"Sounds like a plan." Steve decided. 

Laura got up and started toward the stairs. "Coop, Lila, uncle Steve's taking you out today! Let's go get our baths and get ready." 

"Can I wear my dress?" Steve heard Lila ask from upstairs.

"Maybe with a pair of leggings, it's starting to get cold outside." Laura shot Clint a look before she disappeared that had him snickering. 

"Come on, little man." He kissed Nathaniel on the head. "Let's go get you ready and make sure you have everything babies need on an outing." 

"How much do they need for a couple hours?" Steve asked, looking at him weirdly. He wasn't exactly comforted by the way Clint cackled as he disappeared up the stairs. 

Steve got out of his rented SUV at the Orchard and walked around to let Cooper out and then Lila. Lila had on her beloved 'dress', which was a white sun dress with flowers all over it in red, pink, and baby blue. Under it she had on a white long sleeved shirt and a pair of what Laura called 'leggings', along with some slip on shoes. Cooper was dressed much like Clint favored, in jeans, a flannel shirt and hiking boots. Cooper stood close to him as Steve took Lila's hand and lead her to the back where he put it on his pocket to reach in and grab Nathaniel out. It turned out that babies needed a _lot_ of things for an outing and it all boggled Steve's mind. As it was, the baby was dressed in a little sweater and warm pants, with a beanie on his head he kept flicking off, and there were at least four pairs of alternate pants, two more sweaters, a pair of socks, and another beanie in his diaper bag. 

He managed to get Nathaniel out and into what Clint called a papoose with Cooper's help, listening to Lila going on and on about what she was going to do that day. Steve privately though they didn't have much time to do most of what she wanted, but he let her talk as it was keeping her occupied.

When he got Nathaniel situated and Cooper showed him the beanie attached below his baby brother's chin so he couldn't fling it off anymore, Steve grabbed the diaper bag and shouldered it, taking Lila's hand again, leading them to the entrance. He paid their fee (privately boggling at why both older children cost almost $15 each, along with himself) and then walked in with them. He let Lila lead him over to where the Tea Party was going on and after telling her that if she wanted to go to the animals, to go straight there and nowhere else, he left her under the supervision of one of the workers and he smiled at Cooper. "Want to go see if we can find our way through the corn maze now?"

"Yeah." Cooper smiled at him. "Mom always makes dad not use his superpowers." 

Steve almost asked 'what superpowers?' but he curbed the question. "Oh yeah? Like what?" 

"She won't let him climb the corn to see if we're going the right way, she won't let him use an arrow to hack through the corn, she won't let him call Phil to hack into GPS." Cooper listed off.

Steve laughed heartily at that, a hand going to Nathaniel's back in lieu of his own chest. He could picture it all so clearly. "Well I'm pretty good with directions." He promised once he got himself under control. "I think we can handle it. What's your best time?" 

"Four hours." Cooper offered.

Steve scoffed. "I can shave at least two hours off that." 

It was almost sunset when Steve got the kids home again. He carried two large baskets of apples while Cooper and Lila wheeled in a few pumpkins on a wagon. Nathaniel was in the papoose, but Steve had it on backwards. The baby in question had a wide eyed look of a baby that had just been _put through it_ and Clint bit back a laugh as he helped Steve get the papoose off. He handed the baby over to Laura who kissed his forehead gently and began rocking him before he started crying. 

"How was your day? Did you have fun?" Clint asked, helping Lila and Cooper with the pumpkins while Steve carried the apples into the kitchen.

"Uncle Steve got us lost in the maze." Cooper announced.

"I did not." Steve said as he came back. "I just made a tactical error..." 

"He had to use one of the things that calls someone to come get you." Cooper looked up at his dad.

"Steve, you didn't." Clint laughed, looking highly amused.

Steve turned about the color of the apples he'd been carrying. "I still shaved about an hour off your time."

"It doesn't count when you don't finish the maze and you have to get someone to come get your a...butt." Clint rolled his eyes.

"At least I didn't use an arrow to mow down the corn or call Natasha to help me with GPS." Steve smirked.

"That was one time and it was Phil." Clint shot him a look.

Laura came back down from laying Nathaniel down with a bottle and cut off their mock argument. "So Steve, wanna tell me about why exactly you wanted to take the kids out?" 

"Because I thought you two needed a day to yourselves." Steve said easily, helping Clint take the pumpkins out of the wagon while Cooper and Lila ran off to their rooms to change into their pajamas. 

"She already knows you're lying, dude, you just need to give it up." Clint said, amused.

"I am not." Steve scoffed, offended at the very thought.

Laura walked over and shoved her phone in his face. On it he saw the Twitter app open. It was a picture of him with Nathaniel in his papoose. The caption under it said 'Hey @piersmorgan @CaptainAmericaisSteveRogers would definitely carry a baby around in a sling.'

Steve went bright red and sputtered for a few seconds. "Ok so it wasn't _just_ to get them out of your hair for a little while and give you a day to yourselves." He admitted. "But he made this absolutely dumb comment and then followed it up with the lamest argument ever..." 

Laura cut him off, laughing. "Steve, it's ok." She promised, patting his arm. "I would've wanted a chance to shut him up if I could, too." 

Clint nudged him with a grin himself. "Yeah, you doing that just made Laura hotter for you, man."

Steve looked at him with a wide eyed look. "What?!" He yelped.


End file.
